The Marauders: Sleepless Night
by DazzleMeBrilliant
Summary: COMPLETE OneShot: Nothing more than GRated fluff to get me going with the Marauders!


**A/N: Well, I figure a quick little story will get me back into the Marauder Mood! It doesn't have a real plot, so beware! It's pointless and stupid, but somehow I like it. It is dedicated to KateF182, who kept me going this entire time!**

**Name: The Marauders: A Sleepless Night**

**Rating: G**

**Type: One-Shot

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Behind the portrait of the Fat Lady on the seventh floor of Hogwarts, up the stairs to the boys dormitory, the Marauders were sleeping peacefully. Well… Actually, only one of the four Marauders was actually sleeping. This one Marauder, however, slept deep enough for the other three.

James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew lay awake in their respective beds. Sirius was not only the lone sleeper, but the very reason the others couldn't sleep. The noise, the very noise that had been keeping his friends awake all night, was coming from him.

He was snoring.

Loudly, mind. So very loudly, in fact, that the occupants of the girls dorm had to put spells around their room to keep the noise out.

Lily Evans, one of the dwellers of the girls dormitory, had immediately blamed the noise on James and was even more furious at him that she was before. She claimed to need beauty sleep.

Trying to lessen her anger, he had tried telling her that she was beautiful enough to easily get by without beauty sleep. While this sent her friends into a series of giggle fits, her face turned red with rage and James was quick to hide in the boys dorm with Remus and Peter.

Now he was sitting grumpily upon his bed, muttering something about "horrible love life" and "the monster that was Evans."

Remus was shuffling through his bag, tossing things out as he searched for something. Peter watched him do this and several items (mostly clothing) landed on very near him, making him squeak each time.

"Found it!" Remus held up a neat little sack.

James woke from his waking nightmares of Lily torture to glance up. "What is it?"

"Cards," Remus replied proudly as he began to untie the knots that bound the sack shut.

Peter squinted at it. "Just plain old Muggle cards? What are we supposed to do with plain old Muggle cards?"

Remus shook his head forlornly. "Peter, Peter, Peter…"

"Um, yes?"

Remus scowled.

"No!" Peter tried again.

Deciding it was best to pretend like that didn't just happen, Remus continued, "They _were_ just plain old Muggle cards, but my dad bewitched them."

Now _that _caught James' attention. He slid off his bed and walked over Remus' bed, where said owner of bed and Peter already sat. "What kind of bewitchment?"

"Well, they…" He faltered.

James and Peter leaned in close. Together, they whispered, "They…?"

Remus put his arm around both friends' shoulders and brought them in closer. He brought his head up and glanced around, as if he were telling a horrible secret.

Leaning in once again he murmured something that sounded rather like, "Thmufl fmsves…"

"What?" James eyes were glittered at the thought of such a secret. Perhaps the cards would bite the hands of whoever held them!

Peter squeaked excitedly. Maybe the cards shielded against cheated!

Remus' heart raced and sweat poured down his face. The secret that he had kept from his friends for so long was going to be revealed…

….

….

….

….

….

….

"They…" He took a deep breath. "They _shuffle themselves_."

James drew back in disgust. "They _shuffle_ themselves! Geez, some secret…" Back into his hot temper, James stormed over to his own bed, grumbling.

Remus shrugged, but Peter was in absolute _awe_. Cards that shuffled themselves? Certainly the best cards ever!

"Well, do you wanna play, Wormtail?"

Peter nodded vigorously and the games began.

It went on like that for nearly 45 minutes – that is, James moped, and Remus and Peter played cards (the latter losing horribly).

It was then that Sirius' snoring (which the three had gotten rather used to after about 30 minutes of it never going away) took a turn for the absolute worst! His snoring was suddenly so loud that all three boys had to cover their ears quickly.

Despite all efforts to stop the horrid noise (much like the sound you would get if you ran over a cat with a tractor, while the cat was using a chalkboard as a scratching post), it continued.

James grabbed several pillows and a comforter and attempted to stuff Sirius' mouth with them. Much to his horror, Sirius actually began to _eat_ the pile of fluff.

Remus, on the other hand, was flipping rapidly through a large book, barely glancing at each page. At long last, he pointed his wand at Sirius and murmured a small spell. **(A/N: Yes, I _am_ too lazy to think of the spell right now, but can you blame me? I'm so tired!)**

Sirius instantly went silent. He flipped over and snuggled into his pillow before falling motionless.

All was silent for a moment. James was the first to speak, "That was a good one. You'll have to show me that one …tomorrow. God, I'm _tired_. G'night everyone!"

Saying their 'goodnights,' they all fell sound asleep.

…The next morning, Sirius was the first to wake. Grinning cheerily to himself, he pulled out a hand mirror that he always kept in his small dresser. He brushed his hair out so it looked casually handsome, as usual. He put on his robes, as usual. He even fell half-way down the stairs, _as usual_.

When he tried to say hello to the Gryffindor girls, no noise came out. _That was not normal_!

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**A/N: The end is bad, I know, but I _really _wanted to get this out and I was fresh out of ideas! So, how was it? Reviews would be greatly appreciated! Again, it is pointless and not really very funny, but it's a story and it's getting me back into the Marauder Mood.**


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